Whod you bang
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
third nipple confirmed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
