2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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