He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
