i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
