True but thats because hes a fetus.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
