omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
