Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
