Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
