I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
