i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
