So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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