Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
