tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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