There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
