Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
