I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
