I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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