I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
