I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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