I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The feeling are messing with the penis
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
