Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
