That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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