p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
