:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
a search helicopter?!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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