he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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