Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am available for nakedness
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
