ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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