I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
