dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
