I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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