Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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