My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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