i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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