You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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