Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
