There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The best revenge is premature balding
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
