You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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