are you still at the devil's house?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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