You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
