I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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