Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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