so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
