and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
