so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Say something about gay babies.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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