I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
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