He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
