Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
