you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Welp...herpes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
