tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
