I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
