How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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