Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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