This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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