I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
