It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
